Rostas Cafe » Focus On The Family

Feb

God Hates Tim Tebow. Or, Another Boob In The Super Bowl.

not_post Oh wait, that’s me who hates Tim Tebow, God hates Fags.

GQ, God's Quarterback

I don’t hate Tim Tebow because he’s a pontificating Christian evangelist who likes to preach to us via his guy-liner or because he has a thing for uncircumcised asian boys. I’m more tolerant than that. My hatred for him is for a better, more profound reason. My friend Lisa and I attended the BCS national college football championship game in Phoenix in 2007 when then-freshman Tebow was responsible for 14 of the 41 points scored by Florida. In the humiliating shellacking that day, my previously undefeated Ohio State Buckeyes were denied their preordained destiny as national champions. The final score in Tebow’s coming out party: 41-14. That’s why I hate him.

And now the crybaby, has-been quarterback is at the center of a Super Bowl commercial controversy. In what I suspect will be the only way he ever makes it to the Super Bowl, he and his mom Pam will star in an advocacy ad for Focus On The Family, a group founded by crazy James Dobson. Even Rosta’s Cafe favorite, Gloria Allred, is getting in on the action.

Prior to this firestorm, Focus On The Family (just focused on families they approve of that is) was probably best known for Dobson’s position that Sponge Bob is Gay. In fact, he’s a Gay activist. He has, after all, been seen holding hands with Patrick the Starfish.

Bob and Pactrick clearly on Gay-cation. Key West I presume.

The Super Bowl, even in the age of DVRs, is still the place where the audience isn’t just tuned in to what’s happening between the goal lines… they stay tuned in to the commercials. With an estimated 99.2% audience retention during commercial breaks this time is a marketer’s gold. These 30 second spots have long been both contested and coveted.

But not since the 2004 MTV Tit-uation has CBS found itself in such a controversial position with advertisers. This is the first year (in which CBS will air the Super Bowl) that they have accepted advocacy advertising. It was also in 2004 that CBS rejected this ad for the United Church of Christ as too controversial because the church, which welcomes everyone, featured Gay couples. Last year NBC rejected a Pro-Life ad featuring an Obama doppelganger fetus and a PETA ad featuring hot chicks humping veggies.

Being rejected can be a good thing, a real publicity bonanza. Especially when you probably don’t really have the extra $2 or $3 million to spend anyway. This ad for a dating site for cheating couples got lots of buzz for being rejected in 2004. This year’s ManCrunch ad for a Gay dating site was rejected because it might offend some straight folks. I’m guessing ManCrunch probaby had three lonely guys signed up before this year’s gift of being rejected by CBS put them in the mix. It looks like it cost about five hundred bucks to make. Nice return on that investment. I’m glad the Super Bowl ad time is now sold out. God forbid CBS take an ad that might offend people who hate Arabs that date or people with herpes.

Now that the floodgates of advertising hell have been opened by both CBS and the Supreme Court, I have some suggestions for some advocacy ads. How about this spot for National Vangauard? They seem cool. And I think this astounding music video could be cut into a really eye-popping, toe-tapping 30 second advocacy spot (for what I’m not sure) as well.

So this year I won’t TiVo past Tebow. And I’ll be anxious to see if facebook voters bring back the Clydesdales. Even if these iconic giant horses don’t score well with Budweiser’s target audience who generally prefer tits, ass and sophomoric frat-boy humor (I’m a fan too, at least of the last two). Like me, the Clydesdales have rarely missed a Super Bowl. They can inspire or make us smile and in 2002 they even brought a tear to my eye with this beautiful ad. They always remind me of a time when good old American football was far less complicated for brands and fans. That now seems like a time long ago.